Expensive Loyal Readers,
I’m away this week. Nevertheless, moderately than let this weblog lie fallow, I’ve placed on my rubber gloves, rummaged round in my archives, and retrieved one moldy publish per day for recycling. Perhaps you’ve learn them earlier than, possibly you haven’t, however every is a reminder of an easier time when street bikes had rim brakes, fixies had been nonetheless cool, and gravel was only a piece of street grit in Jobst Brandt’s eye. Anyway, I’ll be again on Monday, February twenty seventh, however within the meantime simply consider this because the “Finest Of Outdated Bike Snob,” or “BOOBS” for brief.
Additionally, a honest thanks to all of you who’ve donated to the continued mediocrity of this weblog. If you happen to haven’t and also you’d nonetheless like to take action, particulars are right here. If you happen to haven’t and also you don’t that’s tremendous too. Thanks as at all times for studying, and I’ll see you again right here on Monday the twenty seventh.
Yours and many others.,
Tan Tenovo
The Indignity of Commuting by Bicycle: Competitors
[Originally published May 12th, 2009]
As you in all probability know, Might is “Bike Month”–each right here in New York Metropolis and throughout the entire US or A. By no means one to shirk my duties as a bicycle owner, I’ve determined to assist out by making a PSA. Nevertheless, I’m not going to advertise the identical previous drained causes. Helmets? No matter. Till they arrive out with a helmet that makes you smarter helmets can solely accomplish that a lot. Hand alerts? Meh. I lately witnessed somebody almost crash whereas making an attempt to make a hand sign, so till you’re in a position to management your bicycle with out each arms on the bar it’s best to in all probability let your vacation spot stay a thriller. No, I’ve determined to flog my pet trigger (flogging your pet trigger shouldn’t be confused with “foffing off”) by making a NYC-themed PSA for fenders:
See, it’s not that getting moist is a giant deal. Actually, it’s what you’re getting moist with. Even on the sunniest days New York Metropolis is awash with fluids, and these can vary from benign substances like water from opened fireplace hydrants and spilled Snapple to extra distasteful ones resembling scorching canine water and occasional spilled out by taxi drivers to the actually horrific ones resembling urine, rubbish water, and vomit. The latter specifically are issues with which you do not need to make contact, and a LRFP (Low-Driving Filth Prophylactic) such because the one under will solely give you minimal safety:
Subsequent time you’re cleansing crust off the underside of your downtube, strive not to consider what that crust is.
However whereas Bike Month is billed as “a month of biking celebration,” nothing may very well be farther from the reality. If you happen to commute by bicycle right here in New York Metropolis, bike month is definitely an intense competitors. Now that the climate’s heat and dry, the streets are stuffed with commuters who’re united by one purpose: to journey quicker than different commuters. Even in the event you’re not aggressive your self, you’ll be able to in all probability admire the great thing about competitors on occasion. Whether or not it’s biking, or working, or boxing, and even crusing, there’s one thing about watching evenly-matched and similarly-equipped rivals striving to conquer one-another that speaks on to the human spirit. Conversely, there’s one thing pathetic and absurd about watching fully mismatched rivals with completely completely different tools making an attempt to race one-another, which is what commuting in New York Metropolis is like, and I used to be unlucky sufficient to witness a very egregious instance of this yesterday night:
Sure, that’s certainly a man on Rollerblades making an attempt to get on the wheel of a man using a 3 pace and sporting a beret. You’ll discover the man within the beret can also be out of the saddle and doing his finest to drop the Rollerblader and get on phrases with a second group of commuters additional up the street:
Witnessing a wrestle like that is barely much less awe-inspiring than watching a bunny rabbit and a chinchilla racing to be first to the water bottle. It really made the race between the man on the Trek street bike (full with filth prophylactic) and the man with the step-through Schwinn fixed-gear conversion and the Promenade bars I had noticed moments earlier than appear “epic” as compared. Truly, I believe they comprised the breakaway group that beret man was making an attempt to catch.
Usually talking, I don’t interact in competitors once I commute. (I don’t actually interact in competitors once I race, both–there’s nothing notably aggressive about clinging tenuously to the again of the pack.) Nevertheless, that doesn’t cease different commuters from competing with me. For instance, there’s an unwritten rule amongst New York Metropolis bike commuters, and it applies to all riders, no matter age, health, or type of bicycle. This rule is as follows:
If you happen to cease at a purple mild and there’s already one other bicycle owner ready at it, you have to cease your bicycle in entrance of the rider who’s already there.
So far as I do know, I’m the one bicycle owner in New York who doesn’t observe this rule, as a result of whereas I’m fairly joyful to queue up behind any individual at an intersection, I’ve by no means, ever had any individual cease behind me. If you happen to’re ready, somebody will pull up forward of you. If a 3rd particular person comes, they’ll roll forward and cease in entrance of the second particular person. On a busy day, this accumulation leads to type of a shoal of cyclists which juts out into the center of the road like a sandbar of idiocy. I noticed this shoaling impact as soon as once more simply this morning, as you’ll be able to see right here:
Thoughts you, I used to be the primary rider at this mild. Notice that the man on the hybrid, the man on the Raleigh, and the messenger have handed me, rolled by way of the crosswalk, and lined up in entrance of one-another in keen anticipation of the sunshine change. As I snapped the picture, they had been joined by some schlub on a skateboard carrying an envelope, and shortly after he arrived got here a girl with a flowery scarf:
You’ll see the schlub on the skateboard went instantly to the entrance of the group. (Maybe he had a bunch of factors within the New York Metropolis stoplight race sequence and obtained a call-up, but when he did I didn’t hear it.) Sadly for scarf girl, earlier than she was in a position to get in entrance of him, the sunshine modified. They usually’re off!
I haven’t seen a begin this explosive for the reason that Cyclocross World Championships in Hoogerheide. I believe the messenger obtained the holeshot, although the schlub on the skateboard with the envelope might have been skitching off him. As for me, I couldn’t stick with scarf girl, so a spot opened instantly. I could have misplaced the race, however I prefer to suppose I preserved some dignity.
However in relation to absurd competitions fully bereft of dignity, New York Metropolis bicycle commuting can’t come near fixed-gear freestyling. I used to be visiting Trackosaurusrex lately once I noticed this video of a fixed-gear freestyle competitors, which makes yesterday night’s Rollerblade-vs-beret race appear like Andy Hampsten on the Gavia Move in 1988:
Most individuals have heard the expression “familiarity breeds contempt.” Nicely, till now I by no means thought it utilized to fixed-gear freestyling. Positive, the “sport” has been round for a minimum of a number of years now, however as a substitute of rising contemptuous of it you type of simply get used to the absurdity. So actually, familiarity with fixed-gear freestyling doesn’t breed contempt–it breeds indifference. Nevertheless, this show of using was almost sufficient to alter that. Whereas I can’t say I skilled full-blown contempt, it positively ratcheted my “meh” as much as “vehemehnce:”
Principally, these guys simply journey round in circles, lifting their entrance wheels often. Amazingly, there are literally individuals who have gathered to look at this, they usually golf-clap appreciatively each time somebody fails to land one more “trick.” Since I can’t probably think about anyone would exit of their method to watch this, my guess is that this group of individuals assembles repeatedly at this parking zone no matter what’s occurring–they in all probability stand there in the course of the week too and golf-clap when somebody manages to get out of his Ford Focus with out spilling his Starbucks. For me although, by far essentially the most thrilling second was when some man in a tie-dye shirt ran by way of the shot:
Sure, whereas fixed-gear freestyling continues to develop in reputation, it’s laborious to say whether or not the “sport” is definitely evolving or simply getting lengthy within the chainring tooth. Not solely is the wardrobe, pacing, and crowd response rising more and more golf-like, however the members are starting to expertise repetitive movement accidents as effectively. After watching the above video, I headed over to fixed-gear freestyle impresario Prolly’s weblog to see if I might discover something higher, and I used to be involved to learn this:
The turning level in any subculture is when folks’s our bodies begin rebelling towards their wardrobes. It’s like having so as to add a number of extra rounds to your bullet belt to accommodate your swelling midsection, or needing bifocals to learn your personal knuckle tattoos. And nothing is much less cutting-edge than wise footwear. Simply wait till folks begin experiencing messenger bag-related decrease again issues. The Mounted-Gear Apocalypse might not include a bang or a wimper; it might simply include lots of complaining.
